Conversations/Conversaciones 2: Two Evenings with Latinx Leaders

October 10 with Lorraine Triana Rueda and Scott Russell Duncan (Novato)

This discussion between Héctor García, Community Library Specialist – Spanish Speaking Services, Lorraine Triana Rueda, and Scott Russell Duncan, took place at the Novato Library on October 10, 2024. The below offers a summary of their conversation. Direct quotations have been indicated through quotation marks. After question one, full names have been replaced by initials. All questions with the exception of the final question, which came from the audience, were asked by Héctor García.

Thanks to Cris Criollo, Community Library Specialist, at the South Novato Library for developing these conversations with Latinx leaders in the community as part of Latinx Heritage Month.

Would you tell us about yourselves?

Scott Russell Duncan grew up in southern California as well as north Texas. He went to school at Mills College and lives in Oakland. His latest book, Old California Strikes Back, came out the following week through Flowersong Press. He identifies as Xicano (his father is white) and works to “break the colonial system that tries to define us.”

Lorraine Triana Rueda is a graphic designer / web designer originally from Colombia. She moved to Australia where she lived and worked for ten years...and, eventually, fell in love. She has lived in the United States for six years and now works for Marin County.

To help those in the audience get a better sense of who you are, can each of you share a story about your childhood or family?

SRD: “We can’t afford business cards. We can’t afford anything American Psycho has!” In his short story, “Mexican American Psycho is in Your Dreams,” Duncan explored his identity as both white and Xicano. While he grew up surrounded by family in a smalltown in southern California, he often considered how they were the opposite of the wealthy, grotesque Manhattanites like those featured in the film starring Christian Bale as Patrick Bateman. Yet, as he grew up, many white people on the street reacted to him as if he were some kind of monster – “Call the cops. Kong is unleashed.” That’s how their facial expressions and reactions toward him felt.

He often felt different and unlike the other men in his family and recalled a memory where his family recalled seeing in the street the notorious serial killer Richard Ramirez or “The Night Stalker” who had been terrorizing their neighborhood. While his father seemed about to have a flashback to Vietnam, his uncle was “hoping, praying to use his weapon.” Duncan, who as a child wanted nothing to do with the potential shootout, wrote about the experience in an award-winning essay.

LTR: For her, growing up was all about traditions, and she reminds herself of those traditions when she, speaking mostly English and living in the United States, feels as if she is becoming more and more distant from her Colombian culture. “Translated thoughts are never the same,” she said.

Triana Rueda often revisualizes her family's coffee hacienda that she visited as a child. There, each family had a room situated around an open-air courtyard with fountain. She remembers swinging hammocks before a river, what felt like a hundred dogs running up to greet her as she arrived, the laughter of cousins, and the special dark room reserved for the bananas that weren’t to be touched without first asking permission.

“I talk to my parents every day on the phone even for just a few minutes.”

“Memories are still in me no matter how far I go.”

Would you share about one thing that makes you proud?

SRD: Immediately, he stated that he was proud of his book and writing especially since he grew up in a family with an abusive mother and within an abusive society. He has been spit upon. He even had bottles of urine thrown at him habitually as someone shouted for him to go back to Mexico.

“I always had to be the Indian when I played Cowboys and Indians with my friends, but I was the one who really came from cowboys on my father’s side.” That never sat right with him.

Today, he is proud of his research and willingness to reflect and learn; he is proud of his indigenous history, a history which his family hid out of shame and survival.

LTR: “I am a workaholic.” She is proud of her career and feels lucky. “Any struggle shapes you. And you need the struggle to get you where you are.” She enjoys working with communities and people. That is very important to her.

Also, she was selected as a designer for an art project in Lake County, CA. “Following the devastating Valley Fire of 2015, the two water tanks on Rabbit Hill” in Middletown were made visible. The Middletown Art Center proposed placing murals on the water tanks to once again beautify the area as well as pay homage to the Pomo people.

“Middletown Rancheria tribal member Trelesa Baratta created the second tank design, and Chicano artist Xavier Peña and his crew painted both tanks.” The project is a collaboration among Middletown Rancheria, Callayomi County Water District, and Middletown Art Center with funding from these partners – the National Endowment for the Arts, Calpine at The Geysers, and Lake County Behavioral Health.

What kinds of barriers have you faced during your career?

SRD: The publishing industry is not friendly to Xicano writers. “I prefer Xicano since Latinx and Latino are colonial terms.” A publisher might publish one or two “Latinx” writers, which they assume represent a diverse array of experiences. “We’re not all immigrants. The US crossed us.”

Then, Duncan shared a memory of a discussion with his grandparents when he was eighteen. At the time, he said, “Xicanos named Scott Russell Duncan don't win scholarships.”

HG agreed that he has struggled with these notions as a librarian.

LTR: “I suffered from ‘imposter syndrome’” and self-doubt, which is “your worst enemy.” Fear feeds these doubts and leads to anxiety. Often, she said that you miss opportunities because of these doubts and fears. For example, she was featured on a podcast with a well-known designer; at the time, she didn’t consider it to be a great opportunity, which she knows that it was in hindsight.

HG empathized. He and his fellow graduate student peers called this tendency to feel like an imposter a “great colonial tool.” Each time, they (as those from other nations who are speaking English as a second language) find themselves feeling inadequate, they remind themselves of this: “You are being ‘colonial’ against yourself.”

What is the biggest advice you have for our Latinx community?

SRD: “We need to create community standards and need to be cohesive and proactive instead of reactive. We operate out of fear. A lot of these systems are born out of genocide and slavery. They’re not going to be for us.”

LTR: “Remember who you are. Believe you have a voice. Connect with it. Embrace what makes you special—where you come from, the history, and the strength woven through your ancestral roots. Believe in yourself. Be proud of who you are. You are not alone.”

An extra question for Scott – Tell us about the book you’re releasing this fall/winter? It’s called Old California Strikes Back.

SRD: “It made me crazy.” It is out now, and Duncan will be reading excerpts from it at bookstores and other reading series across the Bay Area in the coming months.

The description from the publisher perhaps describes it best:

Old California Strikes Back “is a magical memoir and meta-novel that chronicles the journey of its mixed-race author—SRD—as he dismantles the myths surrounding Californios and the Chicano condition. Accompanied by the talking head of the folk hero Joaquin Murrieta, he records his journey on a guidebook by a self-styled Zorro as they race to grab the ‘Jewels of Ramona’ the last unstolen relic of mythic Old California. Through this internal tour of history, personal and collective, SRD reconnects with his Californio Mexican and Native ancestors, who endured two waves of colonization and creates a dream where he can truly belong.”

What are your hopes or aspirations for the future?

LTR wishes to continue to reach people through media and graphic design. “I design because I love finding solutions, expressing the sentiments people hold but may not know how to articulate.”

She balances her creative and practical sides through projects like the Middletown Water Basket Project and aims to continue building meaningful connections through her work. “For me, success is knowing

that at least one thing I did today helped someone else. If it made them smile, then that’s everything – that's the path I hope to keep following.”

SRD wants to keep writing and exploring ways to interact with popular myth through his creative writing. Be on the lookout for Plurality, his collection of speculative stories.

If you are a Xicano writer, consider taking part in his Palabras del Pueblo Writing Workshop.

Contributed by Sarah Broderick. Sarah is a contingent-hire Community Library Specialist. Outside of MCFL, she works as a writer and editor.